In one of my all time favorite Seinfeld episodes, George Costanza ingeniously figures out that by acting annoyed all the time at work, his boss at the Yankees would leave him alone, thereby eliminating all external pressures so that he could continue his life, undisturbed, as a good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so. Of course, nobody on the Seinfeld show is able to indefinitely escape their Fate so he eventually gets his comeuppance.
But George’s fake display of annoyance and busyness got me thinking about my coaching clients who’ve complained to me about bosses with a similar disposition to the little game that George was running. And then the light bulb went off: What if my clients’ bosses were running a game of their own? What if the hurried, no-time-to-listen-to-your-input, no-patience-for-anything-but-RESULTS was there way of hiding behind their own fear of getting caught in the act of failing?
I once heard a Navy SEAL talking about the way he and his comrades both prepared for and then participated in combat. Along with all of the equipment cleaning and weapons loading and other mundane functions and then the quick switch flip to the uncertainty and quick responses and mortal danger of combat they also recite certain mantras to themselves and their brothers. One of my favorites is: “Calm is contagious.” It sounds almost too simple but they know they’re part of a team and each of them has a responsibility to demonstrate poise and sangfroid. To me, it’s another example of how real leaders — whether or not they’re in charge of others — are always thinking about and caring for the people around them. Real leaders place the people around them first and find a way to keep their fears…and egos out of the picture.
It’s always our choice whether or not we’re going to ‘play the game’ or to serve as the responsible leaders of people. So let’s make a commitment: The next time we’re racing to complete a deadline or we just learned that the vendor won’t be arriving on time or the website just went down — again — let’s repeat that phrase to ourselves and let’s live it with our co-workers.
Calm is contagious.