Whichever one of those is our default setting probably says a great deal about us as leaders, colleagues, employees, family members and friends.
React and response aren’t onomatopoeic words, but they sound as if they should be. React is hard and clipped while response sounds softer and takes longer to pronounce. Bosses react! They’re always reacting to problems (which they’ll typically describe as crises). While leaders r-e-s-p-o-n-d to challenges and opportunities.
We’re hard wired to react to physical threats. An environment filled with predators, enemies and natural disasters required quick reflexes. Swift reactions meant we could live to see another sunrise.
Unfortunately, many of us perceive social threats as if they were physical threats, and we react accordingly. Someone at work or in the parking lot or at the dinner table says the ‘wrong’ words to us and we react. We need to project power. We need to get even. We need to get the last word in.
A response is measured and thoughtful. The other person’s words didn’t come out the way we would have preferred. Maybe the words and tone expressed anger or sarcasm or office hostility or parking lot frustration. But responders feel as if time is on their side. They aren’t playing the get even game, the quick game. They don’t need to play verbal ping pong. They take their time and consider their next move. They’re playing pool (or billiards). They’re playing the long game and intrinsically understand that the best conceived strategies and carefully planned projects will never see the light of day if their best responses always look like reactions.